Only Human
by writer168
Summary: I've known Hidan for a long time before I met my demise. To me, he was just a fool who praised a god who didn't exist. But when I became a Shinigami and read the story of Hidan's life, I realized that I was horribly mistaken. He wasn't all that I thought he was.


**- Part I: Just a Man -**

He was just a man. He was allowed to smile, to laugh, to cry. But even for a person like me, I cannot understand. Why is it that we, as people, think that a man who loves to kill cannot learn to love another person?

I have read many stories in my day, many stories of life and death, though nothing particular ever stands out. I have recently experienced death, or, more so, have been dead nine years in Earth's time.

I have been granted an interesting job as a shinigami oddly enough.

As a newly instated soul reaper, I have access to many amenities- one of them being the Red Feather Library. The library was stock full of the life stories of every person living and that had lived. Normally, shinigami didn't stay around in here unless they needed the back story of a person whose soul would be reaped next. As for me, it serves as a sort of entertainment. There are so many stories to read and learn from, even if some of them I could not bear to imagine.

When I stored away the story of Ciel Phantomhive, my eyes ran over to the next book in line.

_Universe 946. Shinobi World. Hidan._

A smirk creased my face. Ah yes, Hidan. I remember that vulgar idiot all too well. My hand made an immediate grab for the book. The front cover had two numbers. One was a blue 31, the age he was now. The other number was a red 53, the numbers of years he had left. That bastard. What a long life he had despite him being a reckless shinobi.

I scanned through the first couple of chapters and read about his life as a child and how he was growing up. At page 849, I stopped. My eyes widened at the chapter title and could only grow wider as the story went on.

_Chapter 49- Age Sixteen: The Paper Angel_

Only then had I realized- Hidan was just like anyone else, I just didn't realize it when I was alive. He held feelings and passion like anyone would.

He was only human, after all.

**- Part II: The Paper Angel -**

Yugakure was far, far behind him now.

He slaughtered his neighbors, those pitiful former shinobi. But he didn't murder the civilians. How could he? They were innocent. They did nothing wrong. Hidan sat behind a waterfall as he nibbled through some old jerky, a spike impaled through his heart. It was official now. He was sixteen years old and an S-Class criminal. Hidan yanked the spike from his chest and leaned back with a sigh.

He didn't really know what he would do now. He... didn't necessarily plan this through, but Hidan was content. He was free of that stupid village and that was all that mattered. Hidan's fingers curled around the hilt of his scythe and he swung to the side.

"Would you like to tell me why you've been here for the past, oh I don't know, fifteen fucking minutes?"

The stranger stepped to the side in the shadows and pushed the blades of the weapon away.

"I was merely observing your... interesting ritual." came a light, airy voice. Hidan scoffed, stood, and turned around, not minding the blood that poured from his chest. His scythe came to a rest on his shoulder.

"Of course you were, chickadee. Now tell me why you're here or I'll please my god with another sacrifice."

All was silent for a few moments before the stranger took a step forward. The first thing Hidan saw were the cream-lined crimson clouds on a pure black cloak. Akatsuki. The person took a few more steps forward. It was a woman-a very beautiful woman-with a large amber eyes flecked with gray.

~x~

My, this book is rather descriptive. And very steered towards this woman.

~x~

Her lavender-blue hair framed her heart-shaped face softly.

"My name is Konan, the right hand of the leader of the Akatsuki. I'm here to extend and invitation into our ranks. Will you join?"

Hidan couldn't refuse.

~x~

The rest of the chapter explained his induction- all that I remember clearly. Hidan's story was far more interesting than I ever imagined, and it was only the beginning. I turned to the next chapter.

_Chapter 50- Age Sixteen: As the Days Pass By_

**- Part III: As the Days Pass By -**

Hidan and Kakuzu really didn't get along. Their interests turned in opposite directions, and their beliefs were set the exact same way. They just couldn't come to an agreement on any subject whatsoever and it was a lost cause to try to make them get along. Yet strangely enough, their teamwork was one of the best. They knew what was going on in each other's immortal guts.

That's why Kakuzu knew about Hidan's infatuation.

Infatuation?

Contrary to popular belief, the zombie brothers actually got along like real brothers, just in a jerk older brother and annoying younger brother sort of way. During the pair's stay at the Rain Base just a couple of weeks after Hidan's induction was when Kakuzu first saw it.

The forlorn look in the Jashinist's eyes when he thought no one was looking. Yes, Kakuzu saw that look all the time. When he was counting money, writing mission reports, or simply reading through the bingo books, he'd glance upwards every now and then and would catch Hidan's sad stare forwards.

Had the man come to terms with something? Remembered something? Realized something? Kakuzu didn't know. What baffled him most was that Hidan never let anyone else see that look. Kakuzu, being the observing person he was, sat back in his chair in the living area, and watched. Subtly, of course.

~x~

Kakuzu, to me, never seemed like the type to care. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised. We weren't a family. We weren't even friends. We were S-Class criminals scattered across the Five Great Shinobi Nations with one common goal.

Peace.

Which I knew would never be achieved.

~x~

For a few days, Kakuzu watched Hidan with a mildly-interested eye and the results proved fruitful, yet something Kakuzu never expected. He shook his head wearily and turned his attention back to the money on the table before him.

The idiot.

Hidan knows that it won't happen.

Yet he hopes anyway.

Kakuzu felt bad for his partner, he really did. In the world of an S-Class shinobi, there was no room for love. Hidan's love? She was explicitly unattainable.

~x~

My jaw dropped. Hidan was in love with-?! My fingers unconsciously turned a few chapters ahead._ Chapter 57: Age Eighteen- On His Prayer._

**- Part IV: On His Prayer -**

The symbol of Jashin was painted with blood on the expanse of Hidan's floor. Hidan himself was positioned in the center- kneeling with his hands clasped around his rosary and his head bowed down.

_**Your prayers are becoming more and more filled with your troubles, Hidan. This is the first time you have ever done such a thing.**_

"I apologize, Jashin-sama." he whispered softly, "I could not help myself. I promise to you, it will never happen again."

_**That may be so, but it will not stop your worries about this woman. Tell me, what is so special about her?**_

Hidan was silent for a few seconds.

"She is an angel in her own right; beautiful and alluring and farm from my reach. She's very kind, but brutal and unforgiving on the battlefield. She is simply perfection."

_**Yet you cannot have her for two reasons.**_

A pained expression crossed his face.

_**For one, she loves another and is too loyal to that person to accept your feelings, if you ever choose to express them, of course. Two, she is not a Jashinist. You know this and you persevere still. Why?**_

"I'll give anything for her."

_**Anything?**_

"Anything, Jashin-sama."

_**Then your religion. Your immortality. If the time ever comes that she does become yours, will you give up what is most important to you?**_

He didn't know what to say. The answer was there, floating at the top of his mind.

"... Yes. I would."

_**I see. How Interesting.**_

Jashin disappeared right after his own amused reply. Hidan sighed and stood up, cracking his back as he did so. He then turned to the clock. 5:26 pm. Three hours in prayer. He ran a hand through his loose strands of hair and walked out of his room to get something to eat. When he entered the kitchen. Konan was there, drinking some black coffee. She gave him a small smile.

"Hello, Hidan-san."

"Afternoon, chickadee."

The silence between them was comfortable, and Hidan couldn't help but hide a smile of his own. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. Konan's features were stirred with serenity as her eyes twinkled with deep thought.

Yes.

She would be worth it.

~x~

I never believed in Jashin. No one did. And in addition to that, I never expected this book to prove me wrong. It was a common thought that if Jashin was somehow_ real_, well, he would act the exact opposite of how he truly was. Jashin seemed like a wise, understanding god. Hidan had a damn good role model on his hands.

The chapter ten ahead of my current one caught my interest immediately. It was something else I remembered all too well. The time I died. _Chapter 67: Age Twenty One- Akatsuki's Downfall_.

**- Part V: Akatsuki's Downfall -**

"And when the fuck were you going to tell us this?" Hidan hissed.

"Settle down." Sasori ordered calmly. Hidan gave him the finger and glared daggers at their so called leader.

"You're fucking dragging innocent people into this!" he growled as he pounded the table with his fist. "Look, I joined the Akatsuki knowing the consequences, but no one fucking told me millions of civilians, as well as shinobi were going to die!"

"Hidan is correct." Itachi inputed, shocking every single person in the meeting room, "This organization had a goal- and that was to achieve world peace. What's the point of having peace if we all go out on a killing spree that provides us with no benefit?"

"Says the man that murdered his entire clan in cold blood."

"Do not speak of things you do not understand, _Kakuzu_. They had a reason to die."

"Yeah, right. All two-hundred of them had a reason."

"Stop it, both of you!" Tobi blurted out.

"Why should they, hm?" Deidara questioned, "I absolutely hate to say this, but I'm on Hidan and Itachi's side on this one. No matter what you guys do or say, I'm not going to kill all those innocent people, yeah."

"But you _will_ because it's your duty to the organization."

"Fuck you, Sasori, yeah! I'm not murdering those people!"

Sasori growled and turned his head towards Kisame.

"And you. What is your entire view of this predicament, _Monster of the Hidden Mist_?" he hissed. Kisame scoffed and leaned back into his chair.

"Sure I love a good fight, but what makes you think I'll walk up to an innocent man and kill him because he's done nothing wrong?"

The room suddenly filled with loud arguments between the members of the Akatsuki. Pein's eyes scanned the room. Things were getting violent very, very quickly. His eyes then turned to source of all the trouble: Hidan. Hidan voiced his unnecessary opinion, causing half of the Akatsuki to go against his will. We couldn't have that, now could we?

Pein called the Asura Path over to him and gave him a simple order that made Konan's eyes grow wide.

"Destroy Hidan and make sure he has no way of recovering."

If you told someone that the Akatsuki had driven themselves to ruin, the chance of that person believing you was very, very slim. But that's exactly how the Akatsuki disappeared off the face of the earth. The organization split themselves down the middle and fought to the death.

The first to go was Sasori.

His battle became art against art- eternity against explosion. Him and Deidara finally had the battle between whose art style was better. Deidara was running low on clay, and in a last attempt, he set a simple C1 bomb to attach itself to Sasori's heart. It killed the puppet master immediately, but victory was short-lived for the young blonde. His danna was gone, and a large dose of lethal poison was pumping through his veins.

He collapsed five minutes later.

Tobi, Zetsu, and Itachi faced off Pein and his Paths, and were winning even when the odds seemed against their favor. Hidan had gone against Kakuzu, and Kisame fought against Konan. Those four were in the same area and were susceptible to any attacks between them. Towers of water pelted the earth, tendrils shot out from every angle, blood painted what used to be beautiful green grass, crisp white paper flew like a hurricane around the battlefield- it was pure _chaos. Disaster. Catastrophe._

To Hidan, everything was a blur. Things were moving so quickly that he barely had time to react to anything. He didn't even have the time to draw Jashin's symbol on the ground because of the relentless attacks Kakuzu was forcing onto him. Thankfully for him, he was given an opportunity when Kisame's Samehada collided with Kakuzu's side, forcing him through a couple of trees. Kisame called out to him before bolting towards the broken bark.

"Hidan! Behind you!"

On impulse, he swung his scythe backwards, sharpened tips impaling whoever was behind him.

A few slips of paper fell to his feet.

The sky had darkened to its darkest blue hue by the time the Akatsuki War was over. Ten dead bodies littered what was left of the ground, and five members were left barely alive. Kisame was helping Itachi to stand up, both of them covered in deep cuts with their clothes soaked with blood. They were standing off to the side, staring at the aftermath of everything. Tobi and Zetsu had disappeared and were nowhere to be found, not even their traces. And Hidan...

Hidan's scythe was discarded on the ground and his eyes were glued to the dead body before him. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Even in death, she was so beautiful. She deserved so much more... Yet all it took was him to swing without knowing who was behind him.

_**You know that I cannot revive the dead.**_

Hidan exhaled through his nose.

"I know Jashin-sama." he murmured softly. It was silent for a while.

_**Then let your sorrow go, Hidan. You can do nothing further, and you have yet to present me with a sacrifice.**_

Hidan picked up his blood-encrusted scythe and took one last look at Konan.

"See you later, chickadee."

**- Part VI: Only Human -**

I closed the book quietly. Hidan... everything I knew about him, everything I thought he was... He wasn't a cruel man without a care in the world, nor was he a man that cussed and killed for the sheer pleasure to please a god that didn't exist. He was a man with a good heart with morals set to the highest standard.

Someone cleared their throat behind me.

I turned around to see William, a senior reaper, standing under the library archway.

"We're having a meeting discussing the fate of one named Eren Jaeger. It will be in the East Hall. Please come immediately." he said. I nodded and turned to the bookshelf. Slowly, I slipped the book back into its place and made way towards William's retreating form.

_I'm sorry, Hidan._

The more I walked, the more I remembered everything he had done in Akatsuki. The good and the bad. A flash of his toothy grin blinded me for a moment, and I smiled.

_Maybe in another lifetime, I could've been yours._


End file.
